| | It was
a cold night. I am not going to lie.... it was cold, but I barely felt chilly
because I was so angry. Being hot and bothered is not something I am used to,
but these were extenuating circumstances. I was disappointed in someone who I
considered such a good friend; for someone who became such a big part of my life
relatively quickly and who I was so eager to see and hang out with, I was quite
disarmed at how insignificant I was made to feel at that moment. On an unknown
street surrounded by unknown faces, the flickering yellow streetlight only
compounded to my abandonment. I felt more alone, physically and emotionally,
than any point in my life.
My climes have warmed. My anger has
subsided. And, with the dissolution of that one friendship, I realized how many
true friends I have around me. Yet every so often, I wonder why I still think
about that night. Though I am no longer angry or even disappointed, I can't keep
from feeling... unsatisfied. With enough time having had passed, with many new
friends in between and to come, I guess I needed some closure. I've really
thought about it and came up with this explanation to myself as to why it is
still on my mind:
I am unsatisfied because you don't know that I know the
truth of what happened that night.
Of course, there was no way of
knowing I know the truth, but I do. I knew it back then, actually. For someone
who pines for decent, "drama free" friends- who claimed to understand and value
friendship as supreme- these complaints seem shortsighted after a decent friend,
quite without drama, is overlooked when arriving, literally, at the doorstep.
But it is okay, all is forgiven. After today, I will no longer
complain, the story of that night will become a humorous anecdote, and I will no
longer tell people how awesome of a friend I was. I guess I just wanted to say
that I know the truth. I know what decision had to be made that night, and what
decision ultimately was made. Obviously, friendship fell to the wayside.
I just wanted to say I knew the truth, and it hurts that you never
admitted it.
Just be happy with the decision you made. |
| | Posted 4/21/2008 8:26 PM - 31 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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