| | Life is a series of I-told-you-so moments. For a single action, there will be as many people encouraging you as there are who are discouraging. All actions are binary; you either do it or don't. No matter what your decision is, if the decision turns out unfavorably, people will be waiting to greet you with I-told-you-so on their lips. Yet, as with everything you know is true but don't want to be reminded of, I-told-you-so comes off as condescension. To avoid this patronizing attitude, we tend to avoid seeking those who gave us unheeded guidance, despite the fact that they were completely correct in their assessments... which is understandable; who wants take the counsel of someone who is a total dick about it?
Good friends with good rationale learn to reign in their I-told-you-so reflex. But now a perplexing paradox arises; since people know you have respectable philosophical vision, and even if you don't ever say “I told you so,” those seeking your advice know you are thinking it- if you didn't, then your wisdom and friendly competence comes into question. Since they know you are passing judgment on them based on whether or not they take your two cents’ worth, they don't even bother seeking you out to begin with.
The problem now lies in one of two places; the advisee or the advisor. If the consequence of a failed choice is too unbearable for the advisee to relive in the company of a counselor who was correct, then maybe the advisee wasn't ready for the choice in the first place; you can't snub a friend for an insult of thought just because you can't stand silent scrutiny. If the advisor feels bad that less and less people look to their truthful take on things, they must look within and ask whether or not they value the soundness of their opinion or the brilliance of their friendship; one must be sacrificed to save the other.
Now that poses another set of decisions... decisions which have to be made without anyone’s help.
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| | Posted 10/23/2008 7:24 PM - 4 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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